Pin it I was scrolling through late-night food videos when I saw someone violently shaking cucumbers in a container, and I thought they'd lost it. Then I tasted it the next day—crisp, salty, unnervingly addictive—and realized the chaos was the point. The smashing releases all the right textures, and the MSG doesn't just season it, it transforms it into something you can't stop eating. I've made it four times this month and still can't believe how something this simple hits this hard.
I brought this to a potluck once, in a plastic container I shook aggressively in the parking lot because I forgot to toss it at home. People watched me like I was unhinged, but then they tried it and three of them asked for the recipe before I even sat down. One person told me it tasted like the cucumber salad from their favorite dim sum spot, except better because it had more garlic and didn't cost twelve dollars.
Ingredients
- Cucumbers: Use the firmest ones you can find—English or Persian work best because they stay crunchy and don't get watery.
- Rice vinegar: The unseasoned kind is key here so you control the sweetness and salt yourself.
- MSG: This is what makes the whole thing sing—it's not scary, it's just pure umami in crystal form.
- Toasted sesame oil: A little goes a long way, and it should smell nutty and rich, not bland.
- Chili crisp: Optional but life-changing—it adds heat, crunch, and a smoky depth that makes you want to eat the whole bowl.
- Spring onions: They add a sharp freshness that cuts through all the salt and oil.
Instructions
- Smash the cucumbers:
- Lay them flat and press down with the side of your knife or a rolling pin until they crack and split—don't be gentle, you want them broken into rough chunks. This is where all the flavor gets in.
- Salt and sugar cure:
- Toss the smashed pieces with salt and sugar, then let them sit for five minutes while they weep out their extra moisture. Drain that liquid completely or your salad will taste diluted.
- Build the dressing:
- Add rice vinegar, sesame oil, MSG, soy sauce, garlic, white pepper, and sesame seeds directly into the bowl and toss everything until the cucumbers glisten. Taste it now—you'll probably want to add more MSG.
- Finish with heat and garnish:
- Stir in chili crisp if you're using it, fold in the spring onions, and top with extra sesame seeds. Serve it cold or let it sit in the fridge for ten minutes to get even crunchier.
Pin it The first time I made this for my partner, they ate it straight out of the bowl while standing at the counter, then looked at me and said, "Why does this taste like a secret?" I didn't have an answer, but I knew exactly what they meant. It's the kind of dish that feels like you stumbled onto something you weren't supposed to know about, and now you can't imagine eating cucumbers any other way.
How to Pick the Right Cucumbers
You want cucumbers that are firm, cold, and ideally thin-skinned—English or Persian varieties are your best bet because they have fewer seeds and stay crunchy longer. Avoid the thick, waxy supermarket ones unless you peel them first, because that skin won't absorb the dressing and you'll end up with something that tastes like crunchy water. If your cucumbers are bendable or soft when you press them, skip them entirely.
What to Serve It With
This salad works as a side for anything grilled, fried, or heavy—think soy-glazed chicken, crispy tofu, or even a pile of white rice when you need something bright to cut the richness. I've also eaten it solo as a snack at 11 p.m. when I wanted something salty and cold but didn't want to feel terrible about it. It's one of those dishes that plays well with others but also stands completely on its own.
Storage and Make-Ahead Tips
This is best eaten fresh, but you can prep the cucumbers and dressing separately and combine them right before serving if you're making it ahead. Once dressed, it'll stay good in the fridge for about a day before it starts losing its crunch and getting watery. If you do have leftovers, drain off any excess liquid before eating and add a pinch more sesame seeds to perk it back up.
- Store in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 24 hours.
- Don't add the spring onions until right before serving if you're prepping ahead.
- Re-toss before serving to redistribute the dressing that settles at the bottom.
Pin it This recipe taught me that some of the best food comes from doing something a little violent and a little weird. If you make it once, you'll make it every week.
Recipe FAQ
- → How do I prepare the cucumbers for this salad?
Slice cucumbers in half lengthwise and gently smash them with a rolling pin or flat knife side to create cracks before cutting into bite-sized pieces. This helps absorb the seasonings better.
- → Can I substitute MSG with another umami ingredient?
Yes, alternatives like mushroom powder or soy sauce can enhance umami, but MSG provides a distinct savory depth that’s hard to replace.
- → Is it necessary to let the cucumbers sit after salting?
Yes, letting salted cucumbers rest for 5 minutes draws out excess moisture, ensuring a crisp and well-textured salad.
- → What can be used instead of spring onions?
Fresh herbs like coriander or dill can be used to introduce different flavor notes while maintaining freshness.
- → How can I make this dish gluten-free?
Use gluten-free soy sauce or tamari to keep the dish gluten-free without compromising flavor.